Best Darn Hotdog - Part Two

The lack of posting has nothing to do with abandoning this project but rather time has been spent in serious contemplation of just how to establish criteria for objective evaluation.  After devouring an untold number of dogs in various and sundry locations outside the county (I did not want to be accused of prejudging or establishing a criteria based on one of the possible candidates) and contemplating my navel for several days I have reached the following abstruse conclusions.  Although you might doubt the ability of anyone using the word abstruse to be able to judge hotdog quality.  I only used it for credibility with the PHD readers.

To professionally evaluate the quality of the dog one must be aware of the individual components that work together in harmony to create the perfect taste sense experience.  Therefore, as I see it, the hotdog is actually comprised of three main components, those being the bun, the dog itself, and the all-important condiments.  I will attempt to analyze these individually.

Today we shall discuss the bun.  The bun is important not only as the holder of the other two components but also as the initial contact point for the taste buds of the consumer.  It should be evaluated from the standpoint of size and quality. 

Size is important as it relates to the dog itself.  The bun should adequately hold the dog and condiments neither hiding them nor allowing spillage of the basic condiments that are: mustard, chili, and onions (more on that when we discuss condiments).  The perfect bun size should be of a length to allow ¼ to ½ inch of the dog to extend beyond the end of the bun and keep the aforementioned condiments within its confines.

Quality parameters for the bun deal with freshness.  The bun should be soft and pliable to the touch as this leads to melding of bun, dog, and condiments when taking a bite.  If the bun is hard to the touch it will lead to a crunch factor not in keeping with pure hotdog ethics.  If the bun is damp to the touch it has probably been steamed with the dog and a soggy bun just won’t do.

For scoring purposes we will award five points to a perfectly specified bun size.  Deductions will be: 1 point deduction for a bun too short or one too long (see above specifications), 1 point for condiment spillage based on normal condiment quantity (if you ask for extra chili and it ends up on our clothes, don’t blame the bun).  The bun shall receive no points if it fails to meet the quality criteria of pliability and sogginess.

Tomorrow we will discuss the dog itself.